Please don't:
Text me constantly. It's my absolute least favorite form of communication. It isn't charming. It isn't flattering. It's usually very boring. What to do instead: ...Call! For bonus points ask me to meet up for shakes. Person to person, spoken out loud conversation is the only way to truly get to know each other. Plus shakes are yummy. So is chocolate. So are raspberries.
Please don't:
Ask me on a date and then proceed to send me a text that reads,
"Am I picking you up?"
There is a plethora of wrong with that question. First of all, you knew I didn't have a car at the time. Would you like me to bike to the Olive Garden? I guess the upside would be that I'd have a nice appetite worked up! You'd get to see me at my finest: sweating, and ravenously hungry. What a fabulous image. Secondly, correct me if I'm mistaken, but you did ask me on a date, right? Like an actual date-date? Does date mean the same thing to you and I? This isn't New York, it's Utah. OF COURSE YOU'RE PICKING ME UP, DAMN IT. Yes, this really, truly did happen. I know. I know. It was sad.
Please don't:
Take my flirting as a secret message that means I want to marry you. I'm 21. Single. I flirt. It's healthy.
Please don't:
Take my kindness as a secret message that means I want to marry you OR that I am interested in anything besides a cordial friendship. I'm nice. I have good parents.
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